Friends with Benefits

You never know whom you’re going to meet. This past Friday evening, I attended First Fridays, a monthly fundraiser hosted by the Museum of Contemporary Art. While there, I enjoyed plenty of h'orderves and cocktails but I also made a new friend. Much to my chagrin, this friend was not an eligible bachelor. However, it was a woman I had never met before that is a member of the Junior Leaguer. I’m always delighted to meet other women from the League. This particular woman is in the same career field as me and could potentially serve as an excellent mentor.

But what do you do when you make a new friend that could be a key professional contact or mentor? Or even someone just to network with? You send a follow up e-mail, of course. Why send an e-mail? To some that may sound like overkill but it’s nice and it opens the door for other conversations. When I meet other women who work in philanthropy, I often invite them out for coffee to hear about their jobs and how they got there. This is a great way to network but also to make a new pal.

What to say? Below is a simple template you can use after meeting someone new:

“Dear Carol,

It was at absolute pleasure to meet you this past weekend at the fundraiser for the Museum of Contemporary Art. I would love to take you to coffee to learn more about the library field and your career in literature. Please let me know when you are available and we will make a date. Thank you in advance and I look forward to hearing from you.

Best,

Suzanne”

It is best to keep this type of e-mail short and to the point although it also provides a reminder of meeting you. This also demonstrates that you’re not only thoughtful but also professional. These types of e-mails are not limited to career or professional relationships- they can be about anything. Interested in volunteering with a new charity? Want to learn how to become a member of a particular auxiliary board? Thinking about going to a certain business school? Looking for a realtor?  The possibilities are endless when networking and making new friends. And remember, “A stranger is just a friend I haven't met yet.”

The Year of Fun

About two months ago, I woke up with a horrible earache on a rainy Monday morning. As a chronic earache suffer and lifelong hypochondriac, I quickly hightailed it to my doctor’s office in the Loop. Hours later with my prescriptions and stolen waiting room Goldfish in hand, I began my journey back to my house. Much to my delight, the express bus was empty on this particular afternoon with the exception of two adorable elderly women.

Now, I will tell you this- if I had succumb to my usual habits and taken a cab home that very afternoon I would have missed one of the best conversations I had ever eavesdropped on. Yes, I openly admit to eavesdropping and yes, in this situation I had only one working ear. Nevertheless, this conversation was wonderful. Both these women were on their way home from volunteering at their respective organizations. One was coming from giving tours as a docent at the Art Institute of Chicago while the other lady was en route from volunteering with The Chicago Lighthouse. As a lover of philanthropy, I found this discussion absolutely exciting. Eventually, they transitioned into a conversation about “fun.” Yes, fun. These two women spent the whole entire 20-minute bus ride listing and chatting about what they like to do for fun. What struck me about this conversation was all of their ideas of fun were so simple. There was nothing extravagant. They talked about things like museums and going out for coffee with an old friend (no pun intended!)

Since that day, I have thought a great deal about having fun and enjoying the simple things. So in addition to my usual list of New Year’s Goals, I have made a list of fun things that I resolve to do in 2012. In addition to my daily vows to give up French fries and martinis and train for the marathon, I plan on doing the following in the year of 2012:

Send people cards for their birthday. To me, there is no greater thrill than getting a piece of mail that is not a bill or a coupon for an oil change. It’s a nice touch in world where we now send birthday wishes to someone’s wall.

Read more books instead of magazines. Magazines are junk food for the mind unless you’re reading the New Yorker or the Economist. If that’s the case, well, keep on keepin’ on.

Find a volunteering gig that I find personally rewarding and fun. There is nothing more satisfying that making someone’s life better.

Take more walks. Plain and simple. 

Have people over for board game night. Do you know who loves board games? My competitive family. Some of my happiest memories of my childhood are with my parents or my childhood best friend sitting around playing games. This activity should not be reserved for kids alone. Invite your pals over for board games and booze. Appetizers would also be a nice touch.

Make new friends. I don’t think that anyone can ever have too many friends.

Take advantage of cultural opportunities in the city. Most weekends, I spend my days eating brunch and doing errands. But there is no time like the present go to more museums or do things like ice skate in the park.

Develop a new hobby. 2012 may be the year that I finally learn to knit.

Try new recipes. One cannot live on low-fat enchiladas and grilled chicken alone. Homemade lasagna and Crème Brule, here we come

Improve my collection of aprons. I know this is kind of silly but I think everyone should collect something. It always gives you a souvenir to look for while on vacation and makes shopping for presents much easier. As a reminder my birthday is January 28^th…

I believe that this is a great way to look at the coming year and my hope is that you resolve to do fun things too. I feel that keeping this type of goal for the next year is much more enticing than saying you will begin to clip coupons or save Darfur. So start small- sometimes the most fun things are the most simple.

And to my friends on the bus- I hope we cross paths again on another rainy day.